HELLO YES I KIND OF DON’T KNOW WTF THIS IS OR WHY IT’S SO ANGSTY BUT…yeah. Ahurr. But it felt good to write it for some reason.
———
“It’s been a while since we’ve last spent any time together, hasn’t it…?”
“Mm.”
“I’m sorry.”
“A-Ah, no, it’s fi—”
“No, I…I want to see you. I’ll come home right after this recording session is over so wait for me, okay? I promise.”
I couldn’t stop the butterflies in my stomach. Every time I looked at the clock, it felt as if my heart would leap into my throat at the thought of finally spending time with him again. Though it wasn’t as if we hadn’t seen each other at all these past few months, it was only for brief moments, either at night or early in the morning, if I woke up in time. I knew he was busy though, and often tired, so I didn’t want to be selfish and bother him. Just seeing his face was enough for me.
Still, the excitement continued to fill me as I prepared the food for when he came home. He probably would be too tired to go out somewhere to eat so it was better to just make plans for at home. I was glad it was just going to be the two of us, actually. No curious onlookers to worry about and no disguises needed.
I finished the preparations just in time. I tried my best, reading the recipes in out cookbook at least three times before carefully following the directions so everything would come out just right. Thankfully, I had anticipated him being at least a half-hour late, so everything was fresh and ready for when he walked through the door.
However, there was still no sign of him.
The clock continued to tick as I sat at the table, waiting. Fifteen minutes…thirty minutes…it was when a whole hour passed that I pulled out my cell phone to send him a quick text.
Recording run a little late? :)
Ten minutes…twenty minutes…still nothing. I was beginning to wonder if he had forgotten already. It WAS already pretty late in the evening now. My heart clenched uncomfortably in my chest and I frowned a little before shaking my head. No, he…promised. But still, I couldn’t shake that nagging feeling off, so after another half hour, I texted Otoya.
Otoya, is Masato with you?
It wasn’t long before I received a reply.
No, last I saw him was @the studio. I think he’s staying there tonight
I stared at the text for a moment, silent, before slowly punching in the letters.
Thank you, I’ll call him then~
But after sending that text, I placed my phone on the table. He probably fell asleep over there again. It wasn’t something that happened too often, but when he had to finish something that spilled over to the morning, he would sleep on the couches there.
So he did forget.
Nonono. I shook my head quickly again as I stood up to begin putting all the food away. He was tired, it was understandable. He had promised, but he was busy, and other things had come up. I couldn’t ask him to spend time with me like that. I didn’t want him to think I was too needy or too selfish. Though this wasn’t the first time he had done something like this, something just always came up. It wasn’t his fault.
I heaved a sigh as I placed the final lid on the plastic container and placed it on the refrigerator shelf before closing the door. I had been looking forward to it but…it couldn’t be helped. It couldn’t be helped…
I swallowed the lump in my throat as I later climbed into bed and opened my cellphone once more. Biting my lip, I opened a new text and typed out one last message.
Make sure you get a blanket or something okay? :) Good night~! <3
DERP YES SO THIS IS MY SUPER-DUPER LATE V-DAY GIFT TO HAYATO THAT I FINALLY FINISHED. So um…yeah, this is supposed to be going on the assumption that Hayato and Tokiya actually ARE twins, weeeee~
———
I’d only meant to watch from afar.
It had been a few weeks now since we’d been able to see each other face to face. I knew it came with the territory, considering his occupation, but it was still…a little lonely. Even today, his schedule was no less packed. In addition to a special Valentine’s-themed episode of Ohayahoo News, his company had actually scheduled a concert later in the afternoon.
It wasn’t a huge event but the turnout was still bigger than anyone had imagined. Because of this, the best way I could see him was through the huge monitor that had been set up so even people at the back of the crowd weren’t left out.
I couldn’t help but smile as he absolutely lit up the stage with his infectious enthusiasm. Even by looking at him instead of at the screen (which wasn’t easy to do from the back), I could see how he energized the crowd. When his song was over, he flashed a wide grin and a wink, causing his fans to cheer.
“Ohayahoo, everyone~! How’s everyone doing, nyaa~??” he called out, causing the sea of young women to cheer in response. “I’m glad you decided to spend this very special day with me!” he winked before taking a very brief moment to scan the crowd. I didn’t know if it was my imagination or not, but I saw him pause, his body facing in my direction. A quick glance at the screen revealed his expression twisted into one of surprise, with his eyes wide and his mouth half-open.
It was only there for a split-second, however, before he pulled himself back together. His signature grin returned and he waved to the crowd before starting his next song while I was left to stand there and wonder exactly what happened.
It wasn’t until the concert was over that it happened. Hayato had left the stage and people were filtering out little by little to the rain that awaited them outside the building but I decided to stay for a bit longer. I didn’t know what exactly I was waiting for, but after a moment I sighed and turned to exit the building. However, I had just taken a single step outside before I was roughly pulled aside. Before I could hell in protest though, a hand briefly slid across my mouth as the other arm pulled me closer to whoever was holding me. “Shh. Let’s not draw attention, ne?”
In that single moment, my heart sputtered to a halt as I snapped my head up to look at the owner of that voice I knew so well. “H-Ha—”
“Shh,” he interrupted again and I only caught a brief glance of the hood that had been thrown over his head before he gently pressed the side of my face against his chest. As we made our way down the street, I felt him shift his hold on my to pull part of his jacket around my body, though whether it was to vainly protect me from the rain or from the curious stares of passerby, I didn’t know.
Neither of us said a word more as we made our way to the hotel I assumed he was staying at until the morning. It wasn’t until we’d slipped past the fans and secured an elevator to ourselves did he let go of me just long enough to take a card from his pocket (and I realized with some surprise at this point that he was still wearing his stage outfit) and slide it into the proper slot before he pushed a button for one of the top floors. Though I opened my mouth to say something, I closed it once more as he enveloped me into his arms again, his gloved hands gently rubbing away the goosebumps that had erupted on my damp skin from the chill air of the elevator. After a moment, I couldn’t help but let out a silent sigh as I finally let go and leaned into him. However, the moment was cut short all too quickly when the elevator jolted to a stop with a tiny ping and the doors slid open to a plain, quiet hallway. There was a tiny moment of hesitation before he finally let me go, but he kept a firm grip on my hand as he led me down the hall and through the last foor at the end.
I watched him as he finally let go of me to shed his dripping coat, my hands instinctively drawing up to cross under my chest. “I thought you had an interview after the concert?” I asked finally, my voice soft.
“Nya ha ha, Tokiya’s taking care of it for me~” though his back was still turned to me, it was obvious he sounded rather pleased with himself.
As for me, my eyebrows shot up and I couldn’t help but gape a little. “Tokiya??” I repeated as I tried to imagine his rather serious and stoic twin taking on his role for something as important as an interview. I knew they sometimes switched for the purposes of fooling and escaping from fans on occasion, but those were far and in-between.
“Yup!” he replied, his tone still cheerful as he shed the top layer of his outfit with a small shiver. “I need to think of a way to thank him later, hmmmm…” he trailed off and his movements came to a slow stop as well, leading to a somewhat awkward silence.
After a moment, I decided to speak up again. “Hayato, why…? I mean, your job—”
“Nyaaaa, I wanted to see you~!” he almost whined, though I was starting to get the sense that something was a little off. “I mean, it’s Valentine’s Day after all!”
“But—”
“Hmm, if either of us stay this way any longer we’ll probably get sick, ne? I can go get the bath ready for both of us~”
Almost immediately, my face erupted into a dark shade of red and I took a hasty step back. “H-Hayato what—”
It was when he finally turned around though, that the rest of my words, and my embarrassment, simply flickered out. The expression he wore made my heart squeeze in my chest and I didn’t draw back when he stepped forward to pull me into another hug. “I…missed you,” he breathed, his voice thick.
I didn’t reply for a few moments, but when I did, I slowly wrapped my arms around him in return and gave him a squeeze. “I missed you too.”
Danielle,
Mmm… so today is White Day… and since you gave me those really delicious chocolates on Valentine’s Day, it’s my turn to return them. Well… I guess I would have replied to them anyway even if you didn’t make me chocolates because you have been the best girlfriend I could ever ask for.
I know I eat a lot… and sleep a lot… and am not exactly the most talkative of people… but thank you, Danielle. Thank you for choosing me. I sometimes wonder, what you see in me that’s so great. But when it all comes down to it, thank you Danielle.
Your smile, your laugh… the way you talk… the way your food tastes… i mean.. haha. I love every part of you Danielle, and I want you to know that. I love you.
I hope one day soon I’ll be able to ask you…
Will you be my bride?
Shiki.
(Source: berselium)
Hi guys, idek, I just wanted to write something in this AU after seeing this picture.
>////////////> Heeeyoooo wasn’t expecting to be this dramatic but my writing muse kind of ran away with me woops—
———
He was gone.
It took a moment for the concept to register in my mind as I stood there at the entrance to the room we had shared for a few months now. His bed, which I was always chiding him about because he always left it as messy as it could be, was made perfectly, as if he’d never been there at all. As I looked around, I discovered that all the other little things, the little signs that told he’d been there, were gone as well. The closet door had been left open slightly so the gap where his clothes used to hang glared at me and it took me a long while before I was able to look away. I glanced over at the dresser, at the one top drawer I had given him to use, and knew without a doubt that it was empty.
I didn’t know how much time had passed before I finally forced myself to move. I checked everywhere for more; his toothbrush was gone from the bathroom, his tiny collection of books were replaced with more of mine in the bookcase, the blanket he used when dozing on the couch was missing…and the one picture we had taken together on a whim was gone with the frame still sitting in its place. With the exception of that one tiny detail, it was as if he’d never been in my life at all.
But it was that one little detail that hit home and sunk my heart like a lump of lead.
“Sh-Shiki…?” I called feebly, looking around the quiet apartment. Though Shiki had never been a very loud person in the least to begin with, it still felt almost eerily silent without him. I had…grown used to having him around in the almost 9 months it had been since he’d stumbled into my life and now that he was gone…it felt empty. I felt empty.
But as I took a moment to collect myself, I realized that maybe it wasn’t as shocking as I was taking it. After all, although we were living in the same apartment, same room even, it was only because he had nowhere else to go. I was the one that had offered to provide him shelter, I was the one who suggested he move into the one bedroom I had so he wouldn’t sleep on the couch. Though he had admitted he enjoyed my company, something that made me happier than anything else, it…wasn’t as if we were anything more than two people thrown together by chance. We came from completely different worlds, completely different ways of life, and it shouldn’t have been so surprising for him to disappear just as easily as he had appeared.
And yet…
“Shiki….?” When I called his name out for the second time, I realized my voice was cracking. I could feel the hot tears begin to roll down my cheeks as I wandered over to the empty picture frame where that single photo used to sit in. There had only been one copy and I had joked to him once that I was going to make a copy to keep all to myself. When he had asked why, I had only told him it was because I needed to make a back-up of it, the truth was…it was because I simply wanted to carry around a picture of the person I loved. I loved him. I probably had been in love with him almost since the beginning, though I was in denial for the longest time because of his former occupation. And for some reason, some tiny part of me thought that…even if he didn’t say it, he…felt the same. How wrong I was.
I couldn’t stop the sobs from bursting out of me as I wrapped my arms tightly around myself. Though I bit my lip in an effort to quell them, it was no use.
“Danielle…?”
In that instant, my heart stopped. There was no other way of putting it. I whirled around, startled that I hadn’t even heard the door open, and…
There he was. His clothes were disheveled and his left arm was limp, wrapped tightly in a bloody cloth, but there he was. My eyes widened and I couldn’t help gasping as I dashed over to him and wrapped my arms tightly around him with a sob.
I could feel his body stiffen for the slightest moment before he wrapped one arm around me, rubbing my back soothingly. “You’re crying…?” he asked softly, questioningly.
“I thought you weren’t coming back,” I whimpered into his chest, my body trembling as I struggled to keep my voice steady.
He didn’t say anything for a moment. “I wasn’t,” he finally admitted quietly. “Things were…too dangerous now that they know I’m here but…leaving you alone would be dangerous too. And…” he trailed off.
“And…?” I pressed, my breathing slowing to a stop as I waited for his answer.
“I…I wanted to see you again,” he finally murmured. “But staying here—”
Somehow, I already knew what was coming. “I want to come with you,” I said firmly, interrupting him.
I could feel, rather than hear, his tiny, sharp intake of air. “…But…are you—”
“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my entire life.” I interrupted again. During that brief moment when I thought he had left, it felt as if everything had simply began to fall apart. I didn’t want to feel like that again. “I love you, Shiki.”
Again, he didn’t say anything for a long time. But after a while, just as I had gathered the courage to pull away to look at him, his grip on me slowly tightened and he lowered his head to bury it into the crook of my neck. “You’re going to have to leave everything,” he murmured.
“I know.”
“You won’t be able to see your family or friends until I take care of everything…if I can even do so.”
“I know.”
“We’ll have to move around a lot.”
“I’ve always wanted to travel.”
This elicited a light chuckle from him and he shifted so he could look at me. His soft smile was enough to take my breath away. “Then…pack what you need.”
My heart, which felt as if it was being crushed only moments ago, swelled with joy. A part of me knew I was being irrational, knew that it was foolish to throw everything away, but…at the moment it didn’t matter. Nothing else mattered. “I’ll only be a few minutes,” I replied with a wide smile of my own.
He nodded and I turned to the direction of my room. However, it was his next words that brought me to a halt and blush to my face. “I…love you too.”
I couldn’t sleep.
It wasn’t that I had a lot of things on my mind or had too much caffeine before going to bed or anything like that. If not for one little factor, I would probably be as relaxed as could be, actually, and off into dreamland in no time at all. But it was that one little factor that had me still wide awake.
I wasn’t in my own bed and Shiki wouldn’t let go of me.
While me sometimes being his replacement sleep-pillow wasn’t anything new, it was wildly different this time for several reasons. For one, I was in his room and it was already dark. I had stopped by after dinner to spend some time with him and be an audience while he worked on preparing a presentation for his class but he had decided to take a nap about an hour ago, promising to walk me back to my room when he woke up. So much for that.
Secondly, this was a much deeper sleep than his constant dozing around campus. His arms were wrapped tightly around my middle and his face was buried against the back of my neck. His breath tickled my skin as he inhaled and exhaled slowly and gently, and I could feel the blood rushing to my face for the umpteenth time since he’d fallen asleep. The music player that I had brought to occupy myself (it was too late in the day to take a nap, in my opinion) had been discarded some time ago and I was left there in silence, aside from his occasional sighs as he shifted positions.
I was worried. Worried because there was a very good chance that I was going to end up staying the night, and that would give all sorts of impressions to people who might happen to see me leaving his room in the early hours of the morning. My only consolation was that we didn’t have any class tomorrow, so there was a chance I could hide out until the afternoon.
That is, unless someone decided to stop by.
I mulled over this for a few minutes before briefly squeezing my eyes shut and shaking my head (causing Shiki to give me a tiny squeeze and mumble in protest). Instead of worrying about the consequences, I decided to think about his possible reaction tomorrow instead. This had happened once before, though he had woken up in time, he’d been somewhat embarrassed for almost keeping me overnight. Though there was always the chance that he’d simply shrug it off, I was actually kind of looking forward to seeing if he’d fluster upon waking up in the morning upon realizing that he actually had done just that this time.
So with that thought in mind, I smiled a little to myself and finally closed my eyes.
“Sh-Shin I’m sorry, can we take a break…for a second?” I gasped as what little stamina I had finally gave out. I leaned forward onto my knees as I tried to regain my breath, my eyes squeezed shut.
“We haven’t been at this for very long and you’re already tired?” I heard the disbelief in his voice and it stung. “Come on, you’re the one who wanted to do this.”
My eyebrows furrowed as I looked back up at him with a deep frown. “I’m sorry, I just—”
With a sigh, he walked over and pulled me up by my upper arm. Though his grip wasn’t harsh in the slightest, I couldn’t help but tense a little in response. However, he surprised me by turning me around to face the basket and pulling me close. “But first of all, your throwing form is way off. We’ll have to work on that first.”
I didn’t respond for a few moments but my lips slowly curved into a smile and I leaned my head back against him briefly before reaching out to place my hands on the ball he was holding in front of me. “Okay, show me what to do.”
lolololol I’m ridiculously tired right now so idk this feels like it didn’t quite make it from my brain to the text post like I wanted it to. 8D;;;
—————
Shiki wasn’t feeling well.
It was something that had been building for the past few days; it started with a headache and a slight sore throat before moving on to a fully aching body and a moderate fever. Unfortunately, he’d been hit with various moments of nausea as well, and as a result I had forbidden him from eating anything but soup and crackers.
He was fast asleep now, tucked snugly into his bed with a cool damp cloth pressed to his forehead. I had skipped classes today in favor of taking care of him instead. While the nausea had settled down for the past few hours, his fever seemed to be holding steady. With a small frown, I removed the towel from his forehead to rinse it with fresh cold water before brushing his bangs aside and replacing it. He let out an incoherent mumble in his sleep in response and shifted slightly before settling down once more. A tiny sigh escaped my lips as I sat on the edge of the bed and stared at him for a few moments, taking note of his flushed face and the way his chest rose and fell with uneven breaths, before I leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. I didn’t like to see him like this.
“Mmm…” at the tiny noise, I quickly pulled back, my face pink. I hadn’t meant to wake him up. However, to my surprise, I noticed something in the corners of his eyes.
They were tears. My eyes widened as I watched them collect underneath his eyelids before finally trailing down the sides of his face. His eyebrows were furrowed ever so slightly in what I had come to recognize as distress and he made another noise before shifting again in his sleep. ”Shiki…?” I questioned softly, reaching out to brush them away with the backs of my fingers. When he didn’t respond, I simply continued to gently wipe away the tears that continued to build, though I couldn’t help but watch him with worry. What sort of dream was he having…?
It wasn’t long after that that he woke up, however, and he did so with a tiny jolt. His scarlet eyes flashed wide open and he quickly sat up slightly to look at me, the last of his tears streaming down his cheeks and soaking into his nightshirt. “Y-You’re…” he trailed off, his voice slightly hoarse.
“I’m here,” I replied with a tiny smile that quickly gave way to a worried frown. “Scary dream?” I asked gently, stroking his hair softly.
He continued to stare at me for a few seconds before his posture finally relaxed and he shook his head before laying back down with a small sigh. “No. A sad one…” he murmured, closing his eyes once more. “Of ou…of a possible future.”
I didn’t reply right away. “Well…the future isn’t written in stone. I think that the decisions people make every day can change what the future holds,” I finally said, trailing my fingers lightly down his face to his chin before bringing my hand back to my side.
A tiny smile curved his lips. “That’s…true…”
I patted the sheets gently. “Go back to sleep. You need more rest so you can get better. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”
His smile widened and he cracked open an eye momentarily to look at me. “Mm…good. Thank you.”
I just gave him a grin in return before leaning forward to kiss his cheek as he quickly slipped into sleep once more.
“Danielle…”
“Hm?” I looked over across the table of the student council’s kotatsu that I had temporarily commandeered for homework purposes. The dorm rooms were having problems with their heating systems so, being the middle of winter, Shiki and I had retreated to the empty student council room to do homework.
Well, at least I was working, anyway. Shiki had the covers pulled up as far as they could go with his cheek plastered to the surface of the table and his eyes closed.
“Come over here,” he said, moving his shoulder a little as if to gesture me over.
I stared at him for a few moments before finishing the sentence I was writing. “I’m doing homework,” I replied simply. When he didn’t say anything for a few moments, I found myself unable to resist glancing at him again. One scarlet eye was cracked open and he was staring at me intently. “Wh-What?”
He gestured slightly with his shoulder again. “Come here,” he repeated, though this time a tiny smile quirked at his lips, causing my heart to flutter in my chest. “Next to me.”
I paused for a slight moment before shaking my head. “No.”
“Why?”
I stopped writing again to give him a look, my eyebrows furrowed and my cheeks red. “Because.”
“Because why?” Both his eyes were open now and he continued to stare at me.
I flustered for a minute. “B-Because I—you—oh fine.” I finally relented, setting down my pencil before scooting over to the other side next to him. I heard him chuckle lightly before his arms snaked around me and the next thing I knew, we were on the floor and he had drawn the cover up and around us.
“Mm…you’re so warm…” he murmured, burying his face into the crook of my neck from behind. “But your hands are cold…”
I continued to fluster as his gently began to rub his hands together over mine in an effort to warm them up. “Sh-Shiki, I—”
“There’s still time,” he interrupted softly, his voice muffled against my neck. I could feel my body tingling from the contact. “We can rest for a while.”
“That’s all you’ve been doing though,” I grumbled in response, though I turned around so I could wrap my arms around him in return and press my face into his chest momentarily. The combination of the warmth of both the kotatsu and his body and the comfort of being in his arms was making me drowsy. “But I guess you’re right…”
He chuckled again and planted a kiss on my forehead. “Sweet dreams…”
I smiled widely before closing my eyes. “Good night, Shiki…”
It was a tangible feeling that connected us. Though the stares we sometimes got as we walked down the hall out to the grounds or the cafeteria embarrassed me at first but it wasn’t enough to quash the giddy feeling that filled me from the inside out at the simple gesture of holding hands.
Shiki was the one who started it, simply taking my hand to walk me to my classroom one day in his nonchalant fashion. The first time had actually been not too long before we had started dating and he had apologized that time, but afterwards he simply picked up the habit as if it had always been there.
As cliche as it sounds, it seemed as if our hands were meant for each other. I had always been somewhat self-conscious of my somewhat bigger hands and longer fingers, and yet…his were just big enough to where mine still slipped so easily into his and it was the most natural feeling in the world to lace our fingers together in a more intimate gesture.
It was also a source of comfort and security, to know that he was right there beside me. When we walked down the streets in the town, I could feel the eyes of the women looking in our direction but it was always the feel of his hand clasped firmly around mine that kept my heart warm and calm.
It was such a simple act of affection but the warmth and security it brought me was something I could never find anywhere else.
It was an ugly feeling coiling in the pit of my stomach. I watched as the girl in the shop continuously inched her way closer and closer to him, her face lit up with a radiant smile. Though he remained as impassive as ever, I could see in his eyes that she was amusing him. He nodded in response to something she said and she nodded back enthusiastically before taking a menu from the table nearby and pointing something out to him.
My heart hurt. Though I knew Shiki hadn’t done anything wrong, I couldn’t help but feel the horrid jealousy coursing throughout my body. She was close, too close, and her attempts at flirting were too obvious. I was thankful that Shiki hadn’t shown any sort of reciprocation, even unintentional, though I wished he would notice what she was trying to do. So far though, her attempts at practically hanging off him were unsuccessful. I still wanted to drag him out of there before she actually did lure him with food, however.
Though I was sure it would take more than the promise of pastries to trick him, I couldn’t help but worry.
I took a few steps forward, heart pounding, but for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to call out to him. I didn’t know if it was because I didn’t want to cause a scene or because of something else, but I continued to hesitate before he suddenly looked up. Startled, I quickly pulled myself into a tiny smile and waved.
Almost immediately, he seemed to perk up. I could see the look of surprise on the girl’s face as his expression brightened and he left her side without a second thought to make his way to where I stood at the entrance. I saw his eyes flicker with worry for the briefest of moments as he approached me and my smile turned sheepish.
“You’re early,” he commented, leaning forward to kiss my forehead.
My face pinked at the sudden display of affection but my heart was already beginning to calm bit by bit. “You said you were already going to be here so I didn’t want to make you wait,” I replied softly, looking down at my hands in front of me.
“I…don’t mind waiting for you.” I raised my head again at that and found Shiki smiling gently at me. “Only for you.”
I could feel the color on my face deepening but this time my smile was genuine. I didn’t know what I had to worry about in the first place.
